The Truth About Therapy No One Really Says Out Loud

I’ve started to dread the question: “So what do you do?”
Because when I say I’m a therapist, I know what’s coming next.

Usually, the person says, “Oh wow, that’s so interesting. I’ve been meaning to go to therapy myself.” Then I get several minutes of backstory about something traumatic before I respectfully set a boundary and move the conversation along.

These moments happen so often, they no longer phase me. But their frequency reminds me just how many people are struggling or avoiding something from their past.

At its core, therapy is treatment. The goal is to help people improve cognitive functioning by processing past experiences, expressing and managing emotions, learning new coping skills, and gaining control over behaviors. Therapy is for people who want change — and who are ready to pursue it. Both are essential.

The longer I do this work, the more I find that people want their lives to look different. Wanting change is easy. Sitting in dissatisfaction can feel repetitive, draining, even hopeless. Believing that change is possible — and within reach — can spark hope. I’m familiar with that hope. I often see it sitting across from me in a first session. People want to believe life can be different.

But wanting something to change isn’t enough. Therapy requires action. At some point, your therapist will ask you to do something difficult — to be vulnerable, explore something you’ve never talked about, connect with your emotions, or consider a different perspective. Healing often requires discomfort. Growth can take you places you never expected.

In session, I often compare therapy to removing a splinter. You know it’s there, but you avoid it because removing it will sting. Still, the longer it stays, the more it irritates you. You sit in mild discomfort, afraid the healing process will hurt more than the pain you're used to.

But for those willing to face it, the relief is worth it. It’s hard. It stings. Then things start to heal. The swelling goes down. The wound closes. Things often hurt before they feel better.

Therapy is for those who want things to change and are ready to make that change happen. Sometimes we think we’re ready — and then realize we’re not. That is okay. This is your journey. There’s no pressure to rush, and no shame in taking your time.

But when you're ready — truly ready — the experience of healing is unmatched. And when that time comes, I’ll be right here, cheering you on. If you are in the Dallas area and ready to take that bold step, reach out to me, and we’ll take that first step toward healing together.

I wish you the best, fellow traveler.